I am extraordinary

Teri Meri Prem Kahani - Guitar Chords

2011-09-05T01:33:00.000-07:00

I am not usually a person to be tabbing songs and putting them online for people to learn. However I was trying hard to search for the chords for this song, and what I found wasnt very satisfactory, so instead of registering on guitar-tab websites, I just thought I would post it here.

THe song is "Teri Meri" from Bodyguard. The very first time I heard it, I liked it. There was something haunting about the tune, and the lyrics resonated very well with the tune. Of course, add the fact that Raahat and Shreya are singing it makes for a near perfect love song! Until of course, I read the newspaper article which said that the tune was lifted from, believe it or not, a Romanian Christmas Carol. Woah! Killed it for me. The original is even more haunting, and slower. Though I didnt understand the song, it moved me. However, I still like Teri Meri, and needed chords for it. This is what I think is apt.

Em......................D
Teri meri, meri teri, prem kahani hai mushkil
C...............D.................Em
Do Lafzon mein ye, Bayaan na ho paaye...

And then you can follow the same progression for the whole song. The Em lets guys sing it in an acoustic fashion too. Coz if you are a normal guy trying to sing like Raahat, you will die. So get ur guitar, lower ur pitch and comfortably sing this song!

That lady in White

2011-08-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

Are you scared of Ghosts? I mean I think everyone is, its like a redundant question, but I still ask it. Are you scared of Ghosts? We have all heard different stories of Ghosts right, and we have interpretations of how our ghost will look based on those stories. Or movies for that matter. Thats what influences what we think Ghosts will look like. Coz, face it, none of us has really seen one right? Right? Um hello...please...right?

Been some good movies that tell you about Ghosts. Evil dead..Ha ha. Paapi gudiya! Remember Ramsay Brothers. The dudes man. Seriously, they were the only people to successfully experiment with horror at one point of time. And luckily they made the movies when I hit puberty. So yeah, scary or not, they did work for me at some level. You know what I am talking about.

But anyway, my story isnt scary. I was talking about Ghosts to my friend. I was telling him I have this peculiar little thought in my mind. Comes to me specifically when I have to sleep alone at night. Ok, not THAT thought. This is the scary one. So I have this thought when I am home alone at night, that if I look out of the window, I will see a woman in white, with her hair moving with the wind, looking back at me. Not a disfigured face or anything, but just a woman looking back at me. And I stay on the 5th floor, so for a woman to be looking back at me from my window is a scary thing. One sec, Even if I stayed on the ground floor, it would be scary. So I tell my friend this, that I have this vision. And that everytime I am alone at home at night, I actually force myself to look out of the window to see if she is there or not. And well, till date I havent seen her. I am alive am I not? If I see her, well I dont want to think about that.

But anyway, the point is I tell my friend this, with a lot of good storytelling techniques. And he says 'Shes been looking in from all the wrong windows for you then, thats why you havent seen her. Shes going around all over Mumbai saying 'Shit, I havent found him yet'. And he laughs like crazy.

ANyways, I still have that vision. damn!

So I went to the dentist.

2011-08-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I went to the dentist the other day. I have a really long history with dentists. Yeah, I am not one of those fortunate people…who brush twice a day. Believe me, I have tried. I can never get myself to do it over a continuous period of time. One day, two days. That’s it, then I am back to sleeping at night without brushing. And all those commericals tell you about the germ build up after you eat right, and I am sure the maximum happens when I sleep unbrushed at night, but damn, I just cant be regular with it.
I wonder if dentists manage to do it, you know. Practice what they preach. So anyways, I went to the dentist the other day. Now how many of you guys have a dentist you regularly visit? You lucky fuckers, all of you who didn’t raise their hands. Trust me, I really envy people who don’t have to go the dentists regularly, and trust me, I am lying when I say..I don’t hate you. Now, if you have a dentist you visit regularly, I am almost ready to bet my daily earnings on the fact that he or she isn’t from this part of India. They are either from down South or probably Bengal or some place, but not Maharashtra. And I think I have figured out why. They wont be talking around you in Hindi or Marathi, so that you don’t know what they are saying! My dentist is from Mallu-land. Now he looks into my mouth…gives a very bland expression and then turns to he co-doctor and starts to ramble on in Mallu. And I don’t understand a fucking word! So I am sitting there wide eyed, trying to figure out what ghost he saw in my mouth and what he is trying to convey. And I don’t understand fucking word. Where are all the Marathi and hindi speaking dentists man? I will tell you. They are down South in fucking Hyderabad turning around after seeing a poor old guys teeth to their Hindi/Marathi speaking co-dentist saying ‘Iski toh lagi padi hai’.
It is scary man. I wonder what they are saying to each other while my teeth are staring at Sputnik. The last time, they were to fit some new cap on my implant. Now wait a second. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Not that kinda implant. Look at me, for god’s sake. They have tooth implants these days, and yes, I am bold enough to admit, that I have one. Anyways, so one of them gets this new cap, tries to fit it into my mouth, takes it out and has this grim expression on his face. He walks over to the other guy and they have a conversation! Now I don’t get a fucking word, so I can only guess what they are talking about. For one, I think it is about me. Two, I think it is about the cap in their hand.
I think the conversation goes something like this. This is only my interpretation.
‘Hey, you remember this cap we got made for him.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘It is small man. I mean if we fit it, it leaves a huge ass gap.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘So what do you think we should do?’
‘Umm.’
‘Should we tell him? I think not’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘Lets just fuck it and put it in his mouth. He has to come back to us anyway eh?’
‘Uh-huh’.

Yeah man, for all you know that’s what they are talking about. Where are all the Hindi speaking dentists man? Hyderabad.

In bad taste? The new LMN commercial.

2010-05-11T00:38:00.001-07:00

Is it just me, or is the new LMN commercial actually in bad taste. Let me describe the commercial to you first, so you have an idea as to what I am talking about.

“An African man (I presume Africa because of the desert) is digging the sand frantically. He pulls out a root, beats it with a stick and then proceeds to wrench it between his strong hands. He holds the root above his head and places his mouth directly under the center of the root as he continues to wrench it. We see a drop of water appear. His efforts continue and the drop of water becomes big enough to just about fall from the root into his wide open mouth. As the drop falls, his friend calls out to him asking him what he is doing. Our protagonist gets distracted and the drop of water falls on the ground and evaporates. He is broken as he looks at the dry ground. Then he throws the now-useless root at his friend and begins chasing him around a hut.
And a bottle of LMN lemonade appears and a voice over suggests that if we are thirsty, we should just have LMN.”

I was actually asked to concentrate on this commercial when it played, because my friend thought it was really good. I saw it and I laughed. I think the acting is just superb, and the direction is brilliant. Production-wise I think the commercial is very good. However, it is the core concept that disturbs me. Sure I find the situational humour funny, but look beyond it.

I see a guy in Africa who has no water or food dying for a drop of water. And against this backdrop, I am asked to think of LMN if I am thirsty. Everyone knows that most parts of Africa have people who die of hunger and thirst. Do we use that as an idea to sell products? I am sure at some point you received a forward about kids who suffer from malnutrition, how their bones are visible through their skin, their eyes conveying that they probably want death as much as food or water.

Now imagine a commercial showing a bunch of these kids, with their skeletons visible and hungry eyes, fighting over one biscuit. And a voice over saying ‘Are you hungry? Why don’t you order from McDonalds?’

Isn’t it the same? You are using someone’s plight to sell your product, and I just wonder, is that correct? Now I am all for freedom of speech, and definitely when it comes to creativity. I am not going to file a PIL against the commercial. But yeah, I am going to ask you, is it just me, or is the LMN commercial actually in bad taste?

My Dream Goal!!!!!

2009-10-12T05:35:00.000-07:00

I played football this past Sunday at Juhu beach yet again. I was tired from partying on Friday night and watching two movies, my legs hurt, but that footballer in me gets up when it is time. Without fail.

So there we were, 6 of us at Juhu beach, and we found a similar number of players to start a game with. We conceded two goals early. Miserable defending. And the first one started with me losing the ball to a young fellow in the opposite team. I was determined to make amends. So I aggresively attacked. And I was doing well, their left-back was having a torrid time with me. I was getting past him with ease. Anyway, I ended up scoring 4 goals, and that was the total that we scored and the match ended in a 4-4 draw. But this post isn't about the game. It is about that one goal that i scored. One unlike any that I have ever scored. And one that I replay in my mind over and over again, and smile every single time.

We were defending. They had a corner and most of my team was back. I was standing at the virtual half-way line as all good strikers do, waiting for a loose ball. The corner was taken, it fell to one of team-mates feet. He looked up and saw me, and hit the ball towards me. As the rolling ball came towards me, I turned without touching it and let it run, and I ran behind it. Since most of their team had gone up for their corner, there were only two defenders and the goalie behind.

I saw one of those defenders running up towards me. I heard his team-mates screaming from behind, ordering him to stop the ball, or me. As we drew close, the ball between us, I dont know where I got the inspiration from. I have absolutely no idea. It just came as a flash. With just a few feet left between him and I, I touched the ball with the outside of my right foot (my first touch) and the ball glided untouched through his legs. And I was past him from his right side in a flash. One obstacle done with.

As I continued on past the defender, I saw the goalie running up now. And as he got close, I again hit the ball with the outside of my right foot and it went past his left, along the beach sand into the bottom left corner of the goal. And it went in.

I was in love with myself in that instant. Since I was still running, I continued past the goal, turned back towards the playing area and took my jersey off, and did the entire 'swinging-the-jersey-above-my-head' run.

That was the goal that made it 3-3. There was this little argument from the defender who had the ball go thru his legs about how it wasnt a goal, but his own team mates shut him up before I needed to. And I felt good.

We planning to play tomorrow as well and the footballer in me so wants to. But my body is pretty stiff, and my toes hurt too. Oh, did I mention that we were playing barefeet?

Such should be a week end...always.

2009-10-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

I have had a few frustrating weeks now. Work has been really slow. Not many auditions happening, so of course not much work. And to top it all, with those '3-day' week ends...most of my corporate buddies were planning something or the other and I was getting to hear about it. I have postponed any plan of a vacation indefinitely. I intend to get some good work, and only then go out. Though, with all the frustration, I needed a break. So I decided to ride down to either Pune or Daman to refresh my mind a bit.

I hoped Ankit would ride down with me, but a little rain on Friday and his own tiredness and laziness, he used as reasons to avoid the Saturday biking saga, and left me going to sleep a very frustrated man. However, I was frustrated enough to do the ride alone. That's the thought that accompanied me to sleep.

Saturday - 5 am.
I woke up. I went to my window and looked outside. I was searching for one star. One star alone, that would show me that it wouldn't be a rainy day, and one star that would prove to Ankit that he was an a**hole. I didn't find it. The entire sky was cloudy. It just added to my frustration, and my fear. I called my trip off. I slept.

Saturday - 8:30 am.
I woke up. I wandered into the hall, where my father was watching the news. He says, 'Check this out. The Goa Highway is shut because of floods. There is a bus stuck somewhere and they are trying to evacuate people from there.'
Great. Exactly the kind of news that my parents would love to hear, knowing their son was out on his bike riding 150 km. At this point, I kinda realised that Ankit's so called 'premonition' about rains was right. But I wasn't going to let him know. Not just yet.

I left my house at 11am, determined to make the most out of my day. I knew if I stayed home, I would do nothing except browse the Internet and play football (video game). I made a trip to Shoppers Stop, to return broken Allen Solly sunglasses. I expect them replaced. Then I went to Versova to get a cheque for something I had done 2 months back. Then I went to 4 bungalows for an audition, which was to start at 2, but eventually did so only at 245 because the lady conducting it was late.
From there i headed to my friends place in Amboli. The same friend, outside whose house, I had left my beloved Reebok DMX one night...only to discover them stolen an hour later. This time, I took off my shoes inside. She made lunch, which was very nice, and I spent my afternoon and early evening there. After that it was a bike ride to Powai, another short trip to Saki Naka to get Chicken Tandoori, and then I was home. Asleep at 11 after dinner. I had a reason.

Sunday - 6 am.
I woke up. It was drizzling outside. I got ready, called my friend, met him got into his car and was on my way. TO PLAY FOOTBALL! We were to play at Vile Parle, but only 7 people turned up. So we went to Juhu beach. As I walked from the parking area towards the beach, I was greeted by...heaven.

The clouds had descended onto the sea, the wind was powerful and chilly, the rain drops were cold and huge and hit hard against my van Nistelrooy jersey, the waves sounded beautiful, yet meek because of the wind. This was already heaven, and it just got better. I had a football at my feet. I fell in love with the beach, a beach in Mumbai, where I had thought beaches sucked, and I know of a few others who still think the same. But I am in love with the beach. And I intend to go there as many early Sundays as I can.

We found a group of guys who let us join in and we played. I scored two goals, always helps. At the end of the game, I had sand on my jersey and shorts, so I went into the cold sea water and got it off. It was still raining. We left, it began to rain harder. We stopped for the quintessential chai and wada-pav. Instead of heading over to my place after, I went to Ankits. I was sure if I went home, I would just laze around. The rains we rent subsiding at all. Plus, I had to get the whole 'pissed-off' issue done and dusted with. So there I went. Confessed that he had been right about the rains, and it was just more frustrating when the plan did not work out. Freshened up and went to a couple of auditions. Then back to his place, within no time heading to catch a movie (not that good)...then back to his place...chai and aloo pakodas...then watched football, Arsenal Vs Blackburn, and Liverpool Vs Chelsea...good football. Then chicken curry and rice as dinner. And the entire day it rained. uffffff....just too much awesomeness in one day.

Reached home at 1030 pm Sunday. And was too tired, and too happy and a little wet on the bum because the ric didnt have those covers on the side.. What I couldn't get in Daman or Pune, I got right here. A lovely weekend. I am refreshed!

Could I run over you, please?

2009-08-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of that line - 'Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them?'

I think that holds so true for this particular kind of people in Mumbai....pedestrians. I came across the manual which guides people to being a perfect pedestrian in Mumbai. I will list the highlights. It is in pedestrian first person language.

1) Footpaths aren't meant for walking.
I take an oath to avoid footpaths whenever possible. I will complain that too many footpaths in Mumbai have been encroached upon, so I am not used to walking on them...even empty ones. I will walk on the road next to the footpath, and if a motorist honks me, I will show him attitude..pedestrian attitude, and WILL NOT move. I will complain about the carts/open manholes etc on the footpath and will avoid them, taking the much simpler route of playing with fast moving vehicles. I will not understand that it is ridiculous to complain about vehicles honking me instead of complaining and protesting encroachment.

I will say that the footpaths are dirty if someone insists, knowing of course that the roads are cleaned everyday with Lizol. A stationary tree in the middle of the footpath is more of a threat to me, than moving vehicles.

2) I am God.
Where I tread, is holy ground, so I have a right to go everywhere. You cant question me, be it a motorist or another pedestrian. I was made for walking like a mad man. And I will.

3) I can cross whenever I want. (related to point 2)
It doesnt matter what speed a vehicle is approaching at, I dont even calculate. If I move to cross the road, the world HAS TO STOP. Vehicles HAVE to obey signals, but my signals hold no meaning for me. So what if it is green for the cars, if I want to cross I WILL. If you so much as touch me, you are dead. If you honk at me while I cross the road, I will stop in the middle of the road and show you attitude...pedestrian attitude.
I dont necessarily have to cross in a jiffy. I can take my own sweet time, calculating the value of Pi to the 3ooth decimal. Also, I dont have to cross in a straight line, I can make whatever shape with my footprints on the road. Sometimes I can have fun while doing it, like making a large middle finger on the road with my footprints. I can do so, and you cant tell me anything.
If I am having an argument on the phone or with another pedestrian, I can do so in the middle of the road. You vehicles will just have to wait. I can change my mind without questions from you about where I want to go. So if I rush onto the road suddenly...and then step back casually...tough luck.
I was ver fond of the video game when i was young, that one where the frog has to cross the road full of cars...and I do exactly that on the roads to reminisce how my younger days were spent.

4) Any number of people can walk side by side...on the road.
If I am a group of 3 people, we all will walk shoulder to shoulder. If we are a group of 5, we will still walk shoulder to shoulder. This is because whatever we talk about is of the utmost importance and cannot be said over the shoulder. Plus it is demeaning to walk behind someone when you know them. We can occupy 1/3rd of the road when we walk like this, and if you honk at us, we will show you attitude...pedestrian attitude.

Those are a few of the points that I got. I am trying to learn them right now..Hope I can perfect the art of being a Mumbai pedestrian soon.

If your vehicle tyre bursts on the Expressway, keep driving.

2009-07-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah, weird title. But if you reading this, it got your attention, didn't it? This is about a trip that I made to Pune recently via (you guessed it) the Mumbai-Pune Expressway.

It had been some time that Viraat had shifted to Pune and his friends hadn't gone to see him. So, one weekend three of them - Harpreet, Amrit and Simi decided to pay him a visit. Since it was the monsoon season, Harpreet (the conservative one) decided against travelling by bikes. He showed bravery enough to ask his father for the family car. A car that was 9 years old now, but had yet never made a single trip out of Mumbai. Surprisingly Harpreet's father agreed without the slightest hassle. So it was decided, the three of them would drive down to Pune. However, Harpreet's dad insisted that they get the tyres checked, and in fact also suggested that they buy a new stepney.

They stopped at the first petrol pump they saw, and Harpreet got the typre pressure checked. As the attendant proceeded to fill the air in the spare typre, the (old) spare burst with a loud bang. Simi was startled out of her wits coz she was in the back seat. So they decided they would buy a new tyre at the next shop they found.

Driving in the beautiful rains and on the beautiful roads, they probably missed a few tyre shops and hit the expressway soon. The usually conservative Harpreet said they would risk it. So they drove on. Most of the drive went well, but 20 kms away from Pune, after crossing the Pimpri Chinchwad exit, the rear tyre burst. The car jerked a bit and thudded but since Harpreet had maintained a constant speed of 80 kmph, he was able to control the car and slowly glide it to the left side of the road, and stop. Simi was startled again, and would you believe it, it was the tyre directly under her. (Yeah..I think so too, but she aint that heavy)

The three got out and inspected the damage. The tyre was gone, all the lining and the metal blown apart. The bumper was damaged a little too but apart from that not too bad for a tyre burst. So there they were, with a burst tyre and a burst stepney.

Harpreet had memorised it every single time a board showed it, so he knew the number to call in case of 'emergency'. He gave Amrit the number. Amrit called.

Amrit - 'Hello, my tyre burst on the Mumbai - Pune expressway.'
Emergency Help - 'For tyre burst call another number. Bye' (gave number)

Amrit called the 'other number'.

Amrit - 'Hello, my tyre burst on the Mumbai - Pune expressway.'
Tyre burst number - 'Where?'
Amrit - 'On the Mumbai - Pune Expresssway.'
Tyre burst number - 'No I mean where on it?'
Amrit to Harpreet - 'Where are we?'
Harpreet - 'Tell them we crossed the Pimpri exit and are a km or so on from there.'
Amrit conveys the message. And hangs up.
Amrit - 'They are coming.'

With the weather so beautiful, they didnt realise when 45 minutes passed by. Actually they did. They all had wrist watches. Amrit called again.

Amrit - 'Sir my tyre burst on the Mum...'
Tyre burst number - 'Yeah yeah. Our guy went out looking for you and didn't find you.'
Amrit - 'Really? We are the only guys here with a broken down car.'
Tyre burst number - 'Is there a bridge around you?'
Amrit - 'Ya, its a km away.'
Tyre burst number - 'Whats written on it?'
Amrit - 'It is a km away, didnt you hear? And I dont have binoculars.'
Tyre burst number (missing humor) - 'Go and check the name on it.'
Amrit - 'What?'
Dead phone line.

So Amrit tells the rest that he needs to go check the name on the bridge. They say Ok. So he leaves while Harpreet and Simi indulge in some intellectual conversation, now that Amrit is gone. 15 minutes later, Simi and Harpreet see help coming their way. On a motorcycle. And Amrit is riding pillion on it. The bike reaches the car.

Biker help guy - 'What happened?'
Harpreet - 'Um, the tyre burst.'
Biker help guy (being helpful) - 'Change it to the stepney.'
Harpreet - 'Stepney burst too. Besides if we had one, why would we call you?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'So you got a motor cycle. How does that help us?'
Biker help guy (ignoring) - 'Took me so much time to find you. Its almost the end of my shift, yet I came.'
Harpreet - 'It is almost the end right? Hasn't ended ya?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'So, how do you help us.'
Biker help guy - 'I will give you a number. You can call them.'
Harpreet (losing a little cool) - 'What? You came all the way here to give us a number?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - 'I have been here for an hour. And you come here on a motor cycle and say that you are gonna give me a number? Why didnt you just give it to me on the phone when I called you?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - 'Really? You still wondering why?'
Simi (taking charge) - 'Ok give us the number.'

Biker help guy gives number. Amrit volunteers to call because he can see the Harpreet is not calm. Biker guy offers to call. From Amrit's phone. He calls, talks for a bit and comes back.

Biker help guy - 'Yeah. He says he won't come.'
Harpreet - 'What?? An hour we wait, then we get a number...'
Simi (interrupts) - 'Now what?'
Biker help guy - You can leave your car here and go to the nearest tyre guy with your stepney get it fixed and come back.'
Simi - 'And you will take one of us there.'
Biker help guy - 'No. That's not my job. Plus my shift is almost over.'
Harpreet - 'Then what is your job?'
Biker help guy - 'I am providing you security.'
Harpreet - 'Security? From what?'
Biker help guy - 'This is a very unsafe stretch of road.'
Harpreet - 'Really? And in that one hour that you weren't here, what happened to security?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet moves away.

Simi - 'Now what?'
Biker help guy - 'You can leave your car here and all three of you can hitch a ride with another vehicle and get your stepney fixed.'
Harpreet (back) - 'But you said this road was unsafe. How can I leave my car here. What if I come back and there are no tryes at all?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - "Hey your shift is almost over right?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah and I still came.'
Harpreet - 'Thanks man. I think you can leave now. You have been a great help.'
Biker help guy (relieved) - 'Thanks. Bye. Take care.'
Harpreet - 'And suddenly we don't need security.'

Meanwhile Simi and Amrit have called Just Dial etc and have got a few numbers of towing vehicles. They get through quite a few and eventually find one who is willing to come to pick them up. They tell the pick-up the location. In two minutes they see a towing vehicle arrive. They are impressed with the efficiency.

Towing guy - 'What happened?'
Amrit - 'Tyre busrt.'
Towing guy - 'Change it to the stepney.'
Amrit (understand Harpreets state) - 'Stepney burst too. Besides if we had one, why would we call you?'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. So what do you wanna do?'
Harpreet - 'Will you tow us to the nearest tyre shop?'
Towing guy - 'Sure, but I will charge Rs. 600/-.'
Harpreet- 'Thats cool man. Lets do it.'
Towing guy - 'OK, let me attach the chain.'
Harpreet - 'Whoa! Arent you gonna lift it?'
Towing guy - 'Lift it? What do you mean by that?'
Harpreet - 'Lift it, you know. From the rear end so that no weight comes on the tyre?'
Towing guy - 'Really? No we don't lift it.'
Harpreet - 'But then the car still moves on the tyre. My engine is fine, I need the weight to go off the tyre.'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. We dont lift it.'
Harpreet - 'Damn!'
Towing guy - 'Tell you what I can do. I can take you guys to the nearest tyre shop in my car. We can get your stepney fixed and I can drive you back.'

This leaves the three friends pretty impressed.

Harpreet - "How much are you gonna charge for that?'
Towing guy - 'Rs 600/-.'
Simi - 'No, not for the towing. For taking us to the tyre shop.'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. Rs. 600/-.'
Harpreet - 'You serious? Thats like a return fare from Mumbai to Pune man. Maybe even more.' Towing guy - 'Can't help it.'
Harpreet - 'How far is this tyre place anyway?'
Towing guy - 'Just a km away.'
Harpreet - 'And you gonna charge me 600 bucks to take me a km away and back?'
Towing guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'Thanks, but I would rather drive.'

The friends told the towing guy to leave. He obliged. Seeing the damaged tyre, Harpreet thought it would be a better idea to change it to the stepney, which was also burst, but comparitively was less damaged. So they replaced the tyre. What followed is a conversation between evidently experienced car drivers -

Harpreet - 'What do we do with the burst tyre? It is ripped pretty bad.'
Amrit (pointing to the wilderness) - 'Would you be cool throwing it here?'
Simi - 'You think someone cleans this place? I don't think we should dirty the environment.'
Harpreet - 'I completely agree with Simi, dude, how can you be so pathetic?'
Amrit - 'I know man, was just messing with you.'
Harpreet - 'So we all think we should take this tyre and dispose it in a proper manner.'
Simi and Amrit - 'Yes.'

With that reason in mind, Harpreet picked the tyre up and loaded it into the boot. Then at a speed of 10kmph started driving on. The towing guy was right. A km away they saw an exit and next to the exit was a petrol pump, and would you believe it, a tyre shop. Harpreet ran towards the tyre shop and asked the gentle man for the tyre with the exact specifications. (He had got it from the puncture guy next to the shop). So the salesman gets out a tyre with a nice foil around it. As he unwraps it, Harpreet realises the salesman is upto some mischief.

Harpreet - 'Hold on Mister. Are you trying to cheat me?'
Salesman - 'Huh? What?'
Harpreet (thinking he has cornered him, and expecting a discount now) - 'Where is that silvery thing in the middle of the tyre, eh?'
Salesman - 'Huh? What?'
Harpreet - 'You know what I am talking about. That silvery thing that the tyre is wound on man. You are selling me an incomplete tyre.'
Saleman - 'Do you mean the 'rim'?'
Harpreet - 'Damn right I mean the rim!'
Salesman - 'Do you want to buy a rim also?'
Harpreet (slightly stumped) - 'What do you mean...also?'
Salesman - 'Dont you have a rim? Your tyre burst right? You didnt lose the rim too?'
Harpreet - 'Yeah. Of course, I have the rim. That's precisely why I loaded the burst tyre in the boot in the first place. You think I am an inept driver? Just make the bill for the tyre...without the rim.'

So that was the experience of the three friends on the expressway. The story is true. Even the dialgogues are true. Only translated from Hindi. They were funnier in Hindi I must say. So, if your tyre bursts on the expressway, think twice before calling the 'help' guys!!
P.S. It took us, I mean, them 8 hours total from Andheri in Mumbai to Herms heritage in Pune.

Writer's Block

2009-03-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

I am desperate to write. There is thing inside me that nudges me to go and use my talent, and write. And there is thing outside me, that also kinda nudges me to write, the latter is my good friend. And I m sitting here, with the keypad at my fingertips, and damn..I can't form any sort of anecdote to pen. Damn!

There is a lot happening in my life that I can write about. In fact, at this point of time, my life has probably the most happening in it.I just quit my (safe) job 4 months back and have jumped into the (unsafe) profession of acting. I have done OK. They say this field is harder for guys...the insiders. The outside world knows only of how hard it is for the girls, but scratch the surface and look inside, it is an entirely different story. But I don't want to write about that. I have done OK. I did 3 commercials, I did one Corporate AV (like an internal training video), I wrote one screenplay for a movie (have been requested to write another one), I sang four songs for radio (got paid for one). Actually I have done great. And I am gonna get my much needed financial gains soon enough. So yeah, at this point of time, there is a lot happening in my life. I even rode down on my Royal Enfield (God I love her) to Kamshet with friends, spent an amazing week end at a gorgeous farmhouse. And I can't write. Damn!

I have tears in my eyes right now. Imagine. All those things in the previous paragraph. You would think I would be grinning from ear to ear. But I have tears in my eyes right now. Ok. Now they have stopped. Thats how I cry. Little Little. I know why I can't write. And I cant do a damn thing about it. I can only write when my mind is not filled with only one thing, when I can concentrate on what I want to do and what I am doing. No, I cant do that right now. Just one thing in my head ALL THE TIME, ALL THE (damn i want to abuse) TIME! Just this one thing...just this one....

Incomplete. Thats how I feel. I cant write. How will I complete anything? I am just rambling on in this post, I have no idea what I am blurting out. I have no writer sense (no beginning, no flow, no definition, no end in mind.) This will end when there are no more lines. I don't even know if anybody will read this. But I need to write. I just need to write. For myself, and for you Dharmendra (my good friend). At the moment, thats the only two reasons for this post. I think they are good enough.

I read on wikipedia that Johnny Rzeznik broke YEARS of writers block when he wrote Iris (arguably the most awesome song in the world) for the movie City of Angels. I dont know if I would settle for that trade. I dont want years of writers block, but yeah I would love to be known as the guy who wrote a song like Iris. I met Javed Akhtar yesterday at Prithvi. Oh, I didnt mention that I am part of a play right. Yeah that too...m in a play and have performed at Prithvi theater (the mecca of Indian theater). Before yesterdays performance I saw Javed Akhtar. I went and introduced myself to him. This is whats I said "I want to say Hello to you, just so that I can boast to my friends about it later." He smiled...he looks so good man. Why am I talking about him? Writers block dammit.

So I have written. Not something that I would be most proud of. Hell, we all do things that we arent too proud about right? But I have written. And I will soon again. Talking like an idiot hero na?

Mumbai Police Rocks!!

2008-12-15T00:10:00.000-08:00

Sunday, December 14. Time: 2350 hours.
Two men get out of a taxi outside CST station. One of them is wearing a blue jacket and denims while the other is wearing a striped tee-shirt and denims. They leave the taxi and walk past a police van towards the station. They enter the station. One of them gestures to the other to move towards the toilet. He starts to move towards it. They both enter the toilet, the one behind asks if he should get some coffee. The first one nods in approval. Number 2 exits.

Number 1 proceeds to .....number 1. He finishes the formalities and walks out of the stinking room towards Number 2. Number 2 buys coffee, while Number 1 moves towards another stall to get a bottle of mineral water. He buys it and they both meet again.

Number 1 (wearing the blue jacket) touches his back and says to Number 2, "I think I left my bag in the taxi.'

I am Number 1. Number 2 is my friend Nishit. He asks me if I am sure. I tell him I am. I definitely had it with me in the cab, and now I don't. He asks me what was in the bag. A file, with my motor-cycle's original registration papers in it. DAMN!

Nishit jokes that the cabbie would be scared shit of a bag left behind. I say yeah. We walk out of CST station to the place we left the cab. The police van is still there. They see us walking around, looking here and there, and in these times, they are intrigued. They ask us what happened. We tell them. They ask us if we know the taxi number.

FLASHBACK: Why we are at CST in the first place. We have just dropped our friend to the Naval Base. At the entry of the base, we were stopped and asked for identification. Nishit and I didn't belong there while my friend had to make an entry at the gate about the taxi number. Taxi number. Taxi number.

BACK: I call my friend. I ask for the taxi number. I get it. I tell the cops, yes I know the taxi number. I tell them. Nishit corrects me. The last two digits aren't 35, they are 55, he says. So we tell the cops the corrected number. They ask us when we left the cab, 10 minutes back we say. They say they will broadcast it over the wireless! WHAT?

They take my phone number. They tell me to look for the cab myself also, while they broadcast it. I walk towards the out-station train area looking at and scrutinising every taxi with care. Can't find the one!

5 minutes. FIVE minutes. Yes, FIVE MINUTES, I get a call.
Caller: 'Are you Arpit Sharma?'
Me: 'Yes.'
Caller: 'Did you leave a bag behind in a cab?'
Me: 'Yes.'
Caller: 'Your bag is at Colaba Police Station. Go and collect it.'
Me: 'Thank you.' (Still shocked).

I call Nishit, find him and we take a cab to the police station. I walk in. I see a police man with my bag. I see the cab driver who dropped us to CST. We complete the formalities, they just take my name, number, address, telephone number, my dad's name. They do the same with the cabbie. All done, I walk out with my bag.

We take the same cab to CST again. We ask the cabbie what happened.

CABBIE VERSION: I left you at VT. And from there I went to Regal. I parked behind Regal. There was a cab standing behind me. A passenger got into it and it left. I saw a police wireless van enter the lane from the no-entry side. I was a little curious as to what is happening. By this time I was out of my taxi and standing. They cops came to me.
They: 'Is it your cab.'
Me: 'Yes.'
They: 'What is inside?'
Me: 'Nothing.'
They: 'Are you sure. Isn't there a bag inside?'
Me: 'No Sir. You can check.'

They check and find the bag. They brought me to the police station.

I have my bag back with all the documents intact. We get down at CST, pay him, Thank him. We walk to the police van and thank the cops there. They ask me if I have everything. I say I do. They say The police got it for you didn't they?

Mumbai Attacked - 26-November-2008

2008-11-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

As Mumbai stays awake watching TV and hoping that the current crisis situation ends, I realise that a lot of people have a lot of resentment, and the words 'Just kill all those bad guys' are resounding in a lot of heads. At a certain time, I honestly thought the same thing. And then I was reminded of this interview on Larry King Live of a certain Iraqi guy. He said something along these lines...

"If I get into your house and shoot your child, and rape your wife and blow up everything you own, kill all your relatives, what will you want to do?'"

Larry King replied "I would retaliate".

To which the man said "So why don't you understand if I want to retaliate."

He was talking about the situation in Iraq obviously, something that we get informed about mostly through American News Agencies. But if I want to kill these guys who are in Taj now, and if someone identifies this sentiment in me, and brainwashes me, wouldnt I also turn into one of these guys?

What is causing this sentiment? This hatred towards everything? We don't know everything, honestly, we make most of our judgements based on half truths. God save us!

I'm a survivor!

2008-10-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

I can feel goosebumps on my back and hands as I write this.

A very very weird thing happened yesterday. After having spent a tiring day auditioning here and there, and a visit to my grandparents, and a little run behind a Best Bus, I was at a friends place chilling out. We were getting ready to watch a movie, my friend (looking at how amazingly tired I looked) suggested that I bathe. My eyes WERE kinda droopy so I thought it was a good idea too. In I went to the bathroom to take a bath. Didn't use the shower, used water from buckets. Well I am not going to tell you too much more about my bath, but midway through it, I raised my hand above my head and I heard something BURST! And then....there was darkness.

My friend's bathroom doesn't have a very high ceiling. It is probably 4-5 inches beyond my head. And the light-bulb holder on the side wall is pretty much on my forehead height. And being a Mumbai house, it is not huge....it is rented. So in this small bathroom with a low ceiling, when I raised my hand...sorry...my very wet hand...I accidentally touched the bulb I guess....and yeah...the bulb was naked too.

Back to the darkness. So there I stood, shocked...wet...and with soap on my body as the last bits of the glass fell to the floor. I was really numb. And then I felt a sharp sensation on my left shoulder. It was really freaky. I thought a glass piece had entered my shoulder, like shrapnel. It stung. I draped a towel around me and opened the door without moving my feet. From the light outside I looked at my shoulder. I felt it and luckily there was no glass on it. The bulb had burst behind my back and I was now worried if my back had pieces of glass sticking into it...or worse...my head!!! What if when they came out.....well you know....

My friend came over to me almost as shocked as I was. We checked my back and hair, and thankfully there were no glass pieces on me. Which is really cool, coz the bulb was really not that far away and when I looked at the bathroom, there was glass pretty much everywhere on the floor. Jesus. The thing on the shoulder? That's a burn. I don't know how, must have been a really small glass piece. It turned white in no time...and right now it is deep brown. I like it. I think it is cool, but I can't help but shudder when I think of what more it could have been. Really scary. Gifting my friend one of those tube light style illuminators. The ones that probably wont burst. eewwww. Goosebumps again.

Ye hai Mumbai Meri Jaan

2008-03-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

An interesting thing happened this past Monday. I was on my way to my evening seminar for the Landmark Forum (Please google Landmark education). I have to be at Churchgate at 7 pm, so I leave my place in Andheri at 530. I take the MIDC route which means I shouldnt encounter traffic and needless to say I get lots of it. There is this one turn where every one just wants to block the other guy, so eventually no one gets through without losing a lot of time, and a lot of his mind. Took me 25 minutes to get out of that jam. Reached Andheri station, bought coupons and was on my way to the platform, when I saw my 6.05 fast local departing. I would have made it to the train had it not been for these amazing ladies who were taking a leisurely stroll through the park albeit down the platform steps.

The train left by the time i reached the station. So i waited for the next one which was to come by 6.14. Mumbai. Train isnt there till 6.20. And in the meantime they pass a passenger mail on this track. So eventually there are scores of people waiting for the 6.14 train. Scores! train arrives at 6.27, and there is a crazy rush to get into it. As I tried my bit to get into an already fast filling train, i suddenly felt my right foot very bare. The chappal on my right foot was off. Great. People who know Mumbai locals will understand why I didnt try to turn around to find it. For people who dont, I would have died in the stampede if I did. So I just smiled to myself and hobbling on my bare foot just about managed to stand. I should mention here that the train floor was bloody warm.

I reached Churchgate and with one chappal on one foot and walking in that weird fashion went to the stalls in the subway. Thankfully there was one store which sold chappals and I got my self a new pair for 100 bucks. I went for my seminar. I couldnt get my mind off the chappal that had fallen because it was a gift from someone, and I liked them as well. So i made up my mind. I was gonna get back to the station and search for them.

I got back to Andheri station at 1130pm. As I had decided I went down to the same platform, and started retracing my steps from 5 hours ago. There was an empty train standing at the tracks so I couldnt search the tracks. I waited for 10 minutes for the train to depart to the yard. When it left there was an announcement than another fast train was expected on the same tracks. Frantically I started looking at the tracks. Lo and Behold, there it was. Lying face down on the side of the tracks. I made sure that there was no train coming to kill me, jumped onto the tracks and retrieved my chappal. I removed the new ones that I had bought. got the old lonely one from my bag and wore my original chappals again, and I can tell you....I was crazy happy!

For people who want to know how I got my chappal back, please watch / read The Secret!!!!

Thank God for Sunglasses

2007-07-16T21:28:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long time, but just had to get this on the site.

I was riding to office this morning, as is customary. The weather is beautiful this time of the year and the rains are temporarily on hold, so it is just perfect to be riding your Royal Enfield on near-empty roads. And so I was enjoying the ride to office. I was navigating through the sparse traffic when I came upon this dumper in front of me. Now anyone who has read the newspapers regularly know what a menace these dumpers are to fellow drivers. So at once I was cautious. I changed my lane so that I wasn't following it. I contemplated following on just like this, coz I am not a fast rider as it is. Then I saw the problem.

This dumper was carrying wet mud. And as everyone knows, these dumpers carry less than they drop, and this guy was keeping with tradition. Bits and pieces of mud were flying off in every direction. I didn't want any of these to land on my formal office wear so decided to make an overtaking manoeuvre.

1) Accelerator to zero.
2) Compress clutch.
3) Switch gear down by one.
4) Release clutch slowly.
5) Accelerate with intent to leave dust behind.
6) What the.....

Just as Rossi was going to leave this challenger behind, I noticed a lump of wet mud flying towards me. I hope you have seen "Speed" where that piece of paper with "Bomb on Bus" goes flying towards the drivers windshield. Well that is precisely what happened in my case. I could see that mud-piece actually grow in size as it moved towards me. It just grew exponentially and then SLAM!!!

Thank God for sunglasses. That piece of mud completely covered the right side of my sunglasses. Left with one eye to navigate, I carefully slowed down and moved to the left off the road, and with the one eye saw the challenger quite literally kick dirt into Rossi's face. As I got the bike cloth off to wipe my glasses clean, i just wondered what would have happened had I not been wearing the sunglasses.

Just another day on Bombay Roads.

This is going to hurt just a little bit

2007-03-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

I have shamelessly borrowed the title from a poem that I read while I was at school. It was a description of the poet's visit to the dentist. I would imagine it was written quite some time back, so the poor chap must have been through quite a troublesome time in "The Chair".

But we live in modern times. Advanced medicine has ensured that we get the best treatment with the least problems and hassles....and pain. Or so I thought. I don't like being proved wrong, esp in "The Chair". That just sucks.

My problem starts quite some time back. My father was serving in the Indian Navy at the time. One of the perks that you enjoy as the family member of a serving officer is almost-free treatment. I say almost free because sometimes they charged me Re 1/- for an X-ray. Yeah, Re 1/-. I don't know the funda...but they just did it sometimes. You get the basic idea. Its free treatment.

The free treatment that I have used most has been the oral health care department. For people who didn't get it, that means the dentist. I have memories dating back to my childhood when I would sit crying outside the dentist's room because he mentioned an "extraction". My mom has had quite a tough time accompanying me to these places. So keeping with my childhood tradition, about 3-4 years back, I had a root canal done on one of my teeth. Root Canal sounds scary doesn't it? For people who don't know what it is...Google. I didn't know much about it then, and I am told now that it is a procedure done under local anaesthesia. I swear...I was not given an injection before the dentist proceeded to poke those silver needles into my tooth. I SWEAR. My current dentist does not believe it, but it is true. I had the entire procedure done without the numbing effect, and I was thrashing about in that chair. Maybe that dentist just didn't like me.

After all that pain I endured, I came to know 2 months back, that the root canal was a bad one. Meaning? Basically one of those pins didn't go all the way through some canal, and that meant that beneath that pin, there was a gap, and there is something about gaps that infections just love. So infection started...and again...pain started. Great. So my current dentist, whose treatment isn't remotely free (I wont trust free treatment anymore, of course) called in an RCT specialist to try and undo the damage that the Naval dentist had done. Well after quite a lot of probing, which was thankfully done under anaesthesia, there was bad news. He couldn't save the tooth. OK. But what did that mean? That meant an "extraction".

I took a week to think about it and get advice from a few people, and after a LOT of thinking, decided that was the way to go. The tooth was not in great shape. It looked like the walls of a ruining fort, so I thought I might as well get it out. So Extraction is the choice.

The dentist I go to now is very good. I can vouch for his ability and credibility. So if any of you people, in Mumbai, want an opinion about your teeth, I would definitely recommend his clinic. Back to my scene. So I was there in "The Chair", and I was given the injection. I hate injections and closed my eyes shut while he administered it. He did it pretty well, coz I didn't realise when it was done. So we waited for the numbness to set it, and then he began. I believe that dentists should provide you with an eye-cap so that you cant see the kind of instruments they use. That kinda scares the shit out of me. I even said this to him, but he said that most patients wanted to see what was going on and felt less scared when they could watch. Not me...I ain't falling for that. I prefer to keep my eyes shut. Just before the procedure started and I was given the injection, I told the dentist, that I didn't know what it was, but I just had the feeling that this wasn't going to be easy. He assured me that he had done so many of these extractions, that I wouldn't even feel when my tooth was out. He said max it would take 1/2 an hour.

Just before I closed my eyes, I saw what looked like a file or something with a curved pointed end. I was told that it was used to loosen the tooth. I don't know how it worked, but I could taste some blood while he was working with it. He did that for quite some time, and I made the mistake of opening my eyes once again, and saw him get his set of "instruments" closer. And instantly I knew...that I shouldn't have opened my eyes. Pliers???? I mean yeah, when I was young they had used those things...but modern technology has no replacement for them?? Damn!! Anyway, then I felt the pulling and the twisting. I was trying to concentrate elsewhere, trying to be in my "happy place". Yeah right. That dint work. I could still feel the tugging and the twisting. I didn't feel much pain, and the very little that I did, I didn't react to it. After all I wanted to be the strong guy who didn't feel pain. The "mard ko dard nahi hota" kinds. After quite some effort from the dentist, I heard some sort of breaking noise, and though not clear, I am sure I heard an under the breath "Oh shit". Great. That's precisely what you don't want to hear from a doctor who is working on you. And then he said "The queen has lost its crown!". so is the battle won??? No. It just got a lot more complicated.

Then I was made to shift from my current chair into another one. Why? Coz now another dentist would have to work on my tooth. Why? Coz the crown had broken, there was nothing to hold on to, so they would have to remove it surgically. What? yeah baby! Well I had said that for some reason, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Nothing ever is with me.

Now while shifting, obviously I had to open my eyes. I would have been charged a lot more had i broken a few of his instruments. So while I had access to my eyesight, I conveniently glanced at the set of 'weapons' that would now be used in my mouth. I wasn't sure for a sec after that whether the darkness was just me closing my eyes again, or had I fainted. Well luckily, I hadn't fainted. Or unluckily? Whatever. So now my tooth would be surgically removed. Before the next dentist could start, I asked through my sedated mouth "izh theezh gyoiying tyo pyain myorrre dhen bifur?" And he smiled and said "No, No, this will pain less". Nice!!

And then he started working on my tooth. I felt pain. Lots of it. I started to raise my hand, nobody responded to it, so I made some gargling noises. He stopped working and asked "What happened." "Yaaee feelllt pyaain" He said it couldn't be pain because I had been given the injection. It was just pressure and I was misunderstanding it as pain. So now pressure is like a woman to me. I cant understand it. :) He also added that I should raise my hand if I felt pain. I told him that my hand was perpetually up and he hadn't noticed. "Sorry". Smile.

I closed my eyes, and he started again. I heard a whirring sound and I knew what it was. It was a cutting instruments, carpenters use it to cut wood. It is this wheel that has sharp edges and moves at insane speeds allowing the wood to chop off easily. It was a smaller version of that, but I knew what would be happening in my mouth. And I could feel pain. And more pain. He stopped with the cutting instrument and put some blunt instrument inside. And the next sensation was just....sensational. I could feel my tooth breaking. Touch wood I have never felt my bone breaking, but I imagine it would be similar...I could FEEL it breaking. And I felt pain. And more pain. I think this is about the time that I started writhing in the chair and waving my arms wildly. He stopped and said "Arpit, it is pressure". I said "yit his dyefinitely pyain" Man, I was talking like Stallone!!!

He started again, and it hurt like crazy. I think he gave me a couple of injections more, but to no avail. That is probably the most pain I have felt in a long long time, it was quite unbearable...and I had to bear it. More twisting...more pliers...more breaking...more cutting (Sectioning is what they like to call it) and more pain!! And I was writhing in the chair again. Had anyone captured that on camera I would have been embarrassed to no end, but then I wasn't thinking along these lines then. In the midst of it, he also said "If we don't get it now, we might not be able to get it out", so I just accepted that it was going to pain and let him go along with what he was doing...with a little less twisting in "The Chair".

"It's done." Seemed like ages before I heard that, and I was so relieved that I was feeling no more pain. I spit out the little blood that was in my mouth and turned to face him. He showed me my tooth. The damn thing was long. Even without its crown, it was about an inch long. The dentist said it was a "beautiful tooth" and he was sad that he had to extract it. He also added that had the first root canal been good, my tooth would have lasted past my lifetime. Add this to the pain, and you can understand that I didn't feel too good. I was really sad that I had to have my tooth extracted. Now I wish I had taken better care of my teeth when I was younger, but hey, we are humans....most of us LIVE in the retrospective mode.

My Dentist accepted that this was one of his longer extraction times, though he said it wasn't the worst that he had come across. He also added something about the infection being acidic medium and neutralising the injection effect and hence causing pain. All I could say was "Yaee Tyold yu syo". I now have to get a titanium implant in its place. They are supposed to be the best substitute for a tooth. Slightly expensive, but at my age, its worth it they say.
All I asked about it was "Yis thya pyain gunna bee wurrse?"

For Nookie

2007-02-28T22:55:00.001-08:00

"That is not my problem now Mr Shah is it? Don't give Mr Butter fingers a bomb to diffuse if you don’t want it to blow up in your face. I'm the one that gets them in here. You are the ones that assign the duties", said an irritated Sanjay Gupta. Even as recruitment head of a one of the top ten finance firms in India, he didn’t have patience enough to placate an overly critical project manager trying to blame him for the inadequate performance of one of his recently hired employees. It wasn't his fault they had made a rookie in charge of something big and he had made a decision which not too many people were proud of. Sanjay had made it clear, he would get the cream in, but in time, the cream had to change to wine, THEY had to ensure it.

He was still fuming in his mind, when the intercom buzzed. "Yeah", he bellowed into the microphone. "Mr Rathod is here to see you sir" , his secretary managed to say. "Send him in", replied Gupta, "and Priya..." he paused, "Sorry about that. Was just a little put off". "Oh not a problem Mr Gupta", she chirped back. Sanjay smiled. A little indulgence now. Mr. Vikram Rathod was the latest person to get through the initial 'entrance procedures' of the firm. He had done well in the aptitude tests and the initial interviews. But Sanjay wasn't relying on them now. The last call was just another reminder that the guys beyond the reception desk expected every new joinee to be as capable as ....."May I come in, sir".

A million times. He had heard this line a million times. Yet something this time was different. He mentally went over each word in that simple sentence. They were all the same. No unnecessary stress on any vowel in particular. Yet he had felt something different from before. Maybe it was the voice. Or maybe he was in a real weird mood. He looked up. Vikram Rathod. Sanjay tried to get descriptive about Vikram in his head. He did this every time he met someone new. Like in the novels he read so often, he tried to gather as many adjectives as he could. Not very tall, not square-jawed, not muscular, not overly handsome......he was trying hard to get an adjective which didn’t involve a negative, but he couldn’t point out any straightforward quality. He could only point out what Vikram was not. Why? Why was he doing this? He was usually very good at analyzing a persons physical appearance. Yet, this time he could not place Vikram Rathod. Why? Then something cleared. Whenever he had someone come in for an interview, he would get a CHANCE to notice them. This time he knew why he wasn’t able to get a clear description. Vikram wouldn’t let him. Vikram stared at him. Right at him. Or was it through him? And for the very first time, after he had taken over as recruitment head and had first sat in his big leather chair, did Sanjay feel that it was he who was being judged. Vikram Rathod stood there as if he was sizing him up. "Don't look for a good word for me buddy, tell me something good about yourself first", his look commanded. "Look around the room," Sanjay ordered in his mind, "It’s the first time you are in here", but Vikram stood there like he and Sanjay were the only entities present in the universe at that instant.

Sanjay nodded.

Vikram entered, walked straight to his desk, and arched one eye-brow every so slightly. Sanjay nodded again, and he sat. Was he trying to intimidate him? Sanjay knew this trick, he had tried to use it at a few interviews himself, but it never worked. You couldn’t mess with the guy taking the interview, it was HE who had nothing to lose. But Vikram wasn't TRYING anything. He just sat there looking at Sanjay, waiting. Sanjay extended his hand and Vikram handed him THE FILE. THE FILE had everything. The mark sheets, the certificates, the recommendations, the awards. Gupta knew the file. He had seen a lot of these before. He knew what to expect. If he was a fresher, he had to be an IIM grad at least. Even grads from foreign universities were scrutinized deeply before even thinking of handing them an appointment letter. If he was experienced, he would have had to have a substantial number of years, only with the best finance firms. "Vicky Investors" etc would be laughed at. The cream. The firm looked only for the cream. But even the best used to quiver when they walked into this office. Why not Vikram Rathod? Or was Sanjay over-reacting?

Unsure, he opened THE FILE.

"Born 21 Septmeber 1983". Hmm. A young gun. What could this guy have possibly achieved?
"...as a defence officers son...".. Good roots. Big deal. Sometimes, the apple falls away from the tree.
"..among top three ranks in school always...". Great. What school? Gumnaam Pathshala? how many students were there? 18?
"Topped X and XII". Same argument as above.
A non-IIT engineer. Sanjays confidence started coming back. This guy was an engineer? That too from some college in Mumbai University. HE knew how THAT worked. And what these guys actually learned over the course of 4 (or maybe 5) years. He smiled inside. Mr Hot Shot wasn't so much of a hot shot was he? But, Rathod never said he was a Hot shot. Where did the word come from?

"Worked for 17 months at a top IT firm". What?? 17 months? But he is an 83 born. How come 17 months already with an engineering degree? Must have been forced into school early? Or was he a prodigy? Couldn’t be. He didn’t get into IIT did he?

He then saw the MBA college name. He had heard of it. Infact that was an understatement. Everyone had heard of it. But...it wasn't an IIM. It was somewhere in the top ten if he remembered correctly. But it wasn't an IIM. His silent laughter reverberated through his body. He felt good. He was going to rip this candidate apart. It didn’t matter if these guys were good. No one could match him. He knew everything there was to know. He knew all the questions that could be asked. And worse, he knew the best answers to those questions. He suddenly felt menacing. He wanted to make this guy feel ashamed. But why? Why? What had Vikram Rathod done? He had just walked into his office with a little.....confidence. The word stung. Confident. The one word he could come up with to describe this guy aptly. He let himself cool down. He looked up at Vikram. He saw the same question "So what’s good about YOU, Gupta?". No, it is just confidence, he thought. He realized that not one word had been spoken since Rathod had walked in. But he didn't want to change it. It usually intimidated the candidate more. They did 50% of the killing themselves. Harakiri. Not one word. Sanjay felt in command now. Really?

"..always involved in extra-curricular activities.."..Yeah yeah.
"played football for ..." Some club. Big deal. No free kicks here. The only kicks you got were...
"played badminton and cricket at college level". .uhuh.
"played zonal tennis"....so you are a player. Sanjay chuckled inwardly at his own stupid joke.
"Interested in music, played guitar and was a lead singer in a band"..maybe you can sing on your way out. Leaving on a jet plane? Sanjay shook a bit, he wanted to laugh out.
"books, poems, blah blah"...I am gonna laugh at his face.

"An Enfield Rider."

The inner laugh was gone. The question…the same question.

Dedicated to Royal Enfield. The unmistakable beat!

Two really good Hindi Movies

2007-02-05T03:57:00.000-08:00

As the title suggests, this post will tell you about two Hindi movies that you should have watched but probably didn't for whatever reason. Now I am probably not a certified critic, but usually I find too many flaws with Hindi Movies (and English ones too sometimes), so you can be rest assured that if I am actually recommending a movie, then there must be something about it which will appeal to classy people. (I like to believe that). You can read up my review of Dhoom 2 to get an idea that I like substance in movies. So here goes

1) Ahista Ahista : Now most of the guys who watched this movie's trailer must have been put off by the Himesh music I am sure. I believe that the promos let the movie down. They could have put together a few sweet scenes from the movie (with reduced nasal sounds) and I am sure it would have piqued the interest of a few more people.

The movie is set in Delhi with its theme centering around the characters portrayed by Abhay Deol and Soha Ali Khan. Deol plays Ankush, a man who earns money by playing witness at the marriage bureau to total strangers. He happens to meet Megha (Soha Khan) because of his occupation. I wouldn't like to tell you more, because it kinda divulges the sweetness of the film. The story develops from there and just when everything seems to be falling into place for Abhay, there is a twist in the tale.

I liked this movie because it has a believable plot for one. Two, I think it has been directed very well. The only fault that I could think of (it wasn't much of a fault to me, but I guess people will complain about this) is that the movie is slow. But I didn't mind it one bit. Because while the director reduces the pace of the story-development he builds on each character. Three, I was amazed that all the actors have actually done a good job. Abhay deol plays his role to perfection. He suits these roles. There is a dialogue in the film where he says to Soha "Mujhe jaisa ladka...tumhari jaisi ladki ke saaath....I mean...tum toh classy ho na" comes so naturally that you dont smirk at it. Imagine Salman saying something like that.

Soha Ali Khan plays the lost-in-love girl very well. I wouldn't say that her performance is mind blowing, but compare it to Aishwarya/Kareena/Priyanka and she comes across as a Meryl Streep to me. Honest. She plays her part well and she looks very fresh. In fact everybody does.

This movie is good. I really liked it, and I watched it twice. At home. Even I was fooled by the promos and thought this film would suck, but if you like straightforward no-nonsense movies, then this one is for you. I particularly love the ending. It is very different from a conventional Bollywood movie. And that makes it better for me.

Having said it all, please don't watch the movie with sky high expectations. Just watch it as you would another Hindi Movie. You should like it.

2) Hum Dum : HAD any of you seen the trailer to this movie, you would have probably been forgiven to think that it was a B-Grade skin flick. I actually didn't watch the promos, but I am guessing that they didn't really portray the theme too well, in fact when I watched the first 2 minutes of the movie, I thought it was pretty much a B-Grade movie. But something about it kept me watching, and I actually watched the whole movie, engrossed and wondering how it was gonna end. And amazingly, it made me smile at the end. Very rare that....though I smiled at the end of Salaam-E-Ishq too..but that was because I was so happy I could go home to a disprin (That was a very sad movie). Hum Dum is good.

For the hip folks, the name of the movie is kinda corny. I understand. But the movie itself is not. The movie revolves around Siddhant (Romit Raj) and Rutu (Anjana Sukhani). Both characters are oblivious to each others existence, and both are involved in problems of their own. This is probably the only place where the story is weak, but I can let this pass in a good movie. Both need a little financial assistance and agree to participate in a game show aptly

titled "For Love or for Money". Rutu is already engaged while Siddhant

is just this loafer kinda guy. Here I must say that Anjana Sukhani is way out of his league. More about her: She appears in Salaam-E-Ishq as the HOT HOT HOT Bollywood dance teacher who seduces Anil Kapoor. Oh man..what I would give to be Anil Kapoor.

Back to the movie. So both of them participate in the game, and quite understandably and predictably are drawn close to each other. How they come close and fall for each other is shown rather cutely. Also the characters are consistent. Siddhant is still the stupid guy at the end of the movie, no life changing moment where he turns into this hero of the millennium. He always says the wrong thing at the wrong times. And Anjana Sukhani is sooooo adorable. She is very cute, and if anyone knows her, please tell her I would like to meet her sometime. Again, both the actors look fresh, and act well within their limits. Watch out for Siddhant's best friend, who is around for a little comedy.

There are various sub plots within the movie, and they have been dealt with very well. Again, I think the direction is good. The non-communication between the father and the son, the dilemma of choosing between money and love, all the angles are well dealt with. At the end, it is a very sweet movie, which had it probably starred A-List holly wood celebrities would have been rated as a somewhat cliched but well made movie. Wont compare with Bollywood actors though. A-rate Bollywood stars would have probably messed it up.

Both Ahista Ahista and Hum Dum are unconventional Hindi movies and that's probably another reason that I like them. Again, I stress, don't watch them with Titanic expectations and you should probably feel the same way that I do about them.

Best wishes

2007-01-24T22:45:00.000-08:00

Cant take credit for this one. It was written by one of my friends...and was directed to me...I detected more than a hint of sarcasm, but he said it was all sincere :). He is a South Indian (am not being racist pls) and more often than not we see people struggle with Hindi ,but his Hindi is quite good....Proof follows. I have copied it exactly as it was from his e-mail.....and the first line word is "bad-dua"....I know how many people just might read it and understand it...and chuckle endlessly.

Abe.. dekh le..mein tujhe badhua nahin doonga…!
Dhua deta hoon..!

Teri shaadi ... tumhare man pasand waali ke saath hi hogi..!
Jo apne aap se zyaada tujhe hi bahut pyaar karegi ..!
Tu uska best half banega...!
Tere maangne par who Porche – Boxter gaadi laake degi…!
Teri uske saath bahut jamegi…!

Tujhe.. ache ache bahut hee pyaare Arjun Rampla jaise bache honge…
Jo kabhi tere baat nahin taalenge..!
Bahut padenge...tera naam bahut roshan karenge..!
Ek IAS officer banega..!
Tu karodon mein nahayega…!

Tere ko isse zyaada aur kya chahiye..?

Oh what I would give for a Double-O

2006-12-12T00:48:00.000-08:00

I watched the latest Bond movie last Wednesday and I think it completely ROCKS!!! I am sure there are millions of discussions on the same topic going on simultaneously on the internet...So? I can still write this post.

Many young boys dream about being the suave super-spy but with age their enthusiasm to be Bond usually dwindles. This happened with me too. However the latest movie from the Bond franchise makes me wanna be Bond again, honestly. No more Ethan Hunt, I can be Bond...James Bond now. Because this Bond is cool and quite believable. Yeah...he doesn’t drive an invisible car. There are posts which cry that the new bond movie is disappointing. I came across this particular interesting one about a guy complaining that the bond movie didn’t have gadgets and erotic girls. He went so far as to claim that "Even though Bond goes thru a number of cities we aren’t really introduced to culture. He was aptly replied to by a person who said "If you want to watch erotic girls and culture, watch Porn and National Geographic.". Amazing reply, but mine is a bit different. I would say "Really???? THAT’S your reason?” Coz it is just plain stupid. To read this absolutely interesting post pls visit http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=520949.

Then there is the part about how Bond is not as calm and composed as the earlier Bonds. Again...really??? Didn’t you see the opening scene?? Him earning his "double-O" status? That means he is "becoming" what he is. Kinda like "Batman Begins". I think the movie is perfect, they show Bond as the guy who is egotistic and falls for women, when he loses at poker, he thinks "I will bump that guy off ...then I win". He will be molded into the Bond that we have seen before, who would walk into the shower and hump a crying girl rather than compose her. This is the BEGINNING, people.

In my view, the movie is completely entertaining and Daniel Craig is fantastic. There is the middle of the movie which is a bit of the drag, but people claiming that the poker game is a very sad part of the movie are wrong. I think the only boring part is when they try to develop the relation between Bond and Vesper. But that’s forgiven. Coz before and after that part, the movie is good. The actions scenes are U-L-T-I-M-A-T-E. Craig looks like he could do it all, and contrary to another stupid belief, there is a PLOT. Only this one is more realistic and believable than any previous Bond film, and that is what Bond "loyalists" as they would like to call themselves can’t stomach. They probably want that Satellite from Outer Space beaming down a highly charged particle ray to annihilate all human population.

I would label it as a "must watch" for all action movie enthusiasts and others too. And DONT MISS THE FIRST CHASE scene. It is beautiful. A total paisa-vasool film, which I will watch again soon enough...and on the big screen only. Daniel Craig plays the role (which has been written...pls get this point home) to perfection. And this guy is a hunk. If you thought Hrithik looked good in Dhoom, you gotta check this guy out. It is tough to decide who looks better (Hrithik is more of a pretty boy), but physique-wise I think Daniels body is simply awesome, women watching will croon, and men will just wish they could have a body which is half as fantastic as that. The women are OK, not exceptionally beautiful, and they have tried to show the main lady character as a really smart woman, which is again different for a Bond movie, but it suits the film.

All in all; this movie is really cool, and I wish there are movies like this in the pipeline, whether Bond or otherwise. After Die Another Day and the other Brosnan Movie (not Goldeneye) I had frankly lost all interests in these movies, but Casino Royale brings Bond back with a bang.

Ghost Bus?

2006-11-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

I am sure many people would find the Title irrelevant, but that's what came to my mind when I read the board on the bus that I was travelling. Licensed to seat :). Maybe its a sign that my life is so dry that I look for humour in such things....maybe not. I find these small things intriguing, and just thought of sharing it.

Feel free to criticize/comment/applaud/shrug.

Pain is a relief

2006-11-22T05:43:00.000-08:00

Seemingly thrown at my face,Pain is a relief now...

Atleast I still feel something.

Running around for a better tomorrow, a day that will never come

I feel that I am broken now..I have come undone.

Along a dark labyrinth I have wandered, my barren soul wanting,

Seemingly thrown at my face..Pain is a relief now..

Atleast I still feel something.

I could not find an escape route, I cannot flee this enclave..

In a world which is deprived of blood, I dig my own grave.

My mind cannot stay bouyant now..with my entire life sinking

Seemingly thrown at my face..Pain is a relief now..

Atleast I still feel something.

Who are these people around me, just puppets of the trade,

Dettached, no strings attached...no promises ever made......

Not patient to stab you in the back, the dagger lies quiverring,

Seemingly thrown at my face..Pain is a relief now..

Atleast.. I still feel something.

Bheegi billi

2006-11-17T04:01:00.000-08:00

Found something new that I can write about, in this case wail about.

I cant attempt the CAT this year. For all the uninitiated people, the CAT (Common Admission Test) is a very tough competitive entrance exam. The scores of this exam are used to get admission into some of the most prestigious B-Schools in India, including the IIMs (Indian Institute of Management).

Why do I want to attempt CAT? - No specific reason other than "To get into a good B-School". A lot of people who attempt the CAT are what I call "smart people". They know they want to attempt CAT and they have better reasons than mine. They are the guys who knew exactly what they wanted to do at a time when I didn't even know how to tie my shoelaces. I am not one of them. I take one day at a time. My 'aims" in life have been so diverse. I have wanted to be a pilot, a professional cricketer, a professional football player, a lead singer in a band..You get the point, ambitions that probably every guy has. In most cases, the ambitions narrow down and the person follows one. In my cases, they have all been struck out, and I am doing what almost every engineer is doing. Software. So probably CAT is my way of getting "out" of software! Don't get me wrong, I am good at what I do.

Am I prepared? - No.

Why I cant attempt CAT? - I am useless. At least that's what the admissions officer at Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad (IIMA) implied when he screamed at me when I called to tell him that for some inexplicable reason, my application had been rejected. It seems that there is a very noticeable point in the CAT bulletin (future CAT seekers PLEASE NOTE!!!!), that the IIMs will take out a list of rejected candidates, along with the reason for rejection, by 2nd or 3rd October. What it doesn't say (which I guess is implied, and I don't get it, hence I am useless) is that by 5th October you have to correct everything that is wrong and submit the corrected application to the IIM. As a result of me not reading the point, I missed out on the date of corrected applications.

Why I didn't read the "point"? - Quite honestly, I checked my form a lot of times before I couriered it to Ahmedabad. A lot of times. Every small details I went over, and only when I was convinced there was nothing wrong with my form, did I get it xeroxed and then send it to IIM. Over confidence? Carelessness?? Blah blah? Save it.

Then what was wrong? - The website claims that "Photograph was not attached along with the form". My friends trust my intelligence so much, that without fail, all of them have asked me "Bhool gaya tha kya?". Very frustrating when you see such amazing levels of confidence, I am sure they would readily trust me with their lives now. And I know that still leaves the question in your mind. Answer - I didn't forget it. I had pasted it in the right box. 'Then what happened' is your next question. My useless answer - I don't know. :(

Why didn't I find out earlier? - I was hoping you wouldn't ask this, and even if you didn't, I am answering it. I am a guy who accepts everything about me, my qualities and my faults and weaknesses. In this case, it was plain stupidity. I didn't know the link where to check the status for the applications. So I did what any computer literate person would do. I "googled". And the first link that I got routed me to a page which asked for my application number and date of birth. I entered both and got a response "we have no received your application". It scared me. The following days I checked again everyday and got the same response. A little wary, I asked one of my friends who was also waiting for his admit card, and he told me that he also hadn't received any news about it. Here I think it mandatory to mention that there is another point on the CAT bulletin (which I read). it says "Do not contact the IIM unless you don't receive your admit card until November 3". It stuck in my head. I didn't want to piss them off did I? My future college (in Neverland). I thought "Poor IIMs are already pressed with the CAT. Then they have the entire reservation issue to deal with also, I shouldn't trouble them with these little things". So I waited. On 28th Oct my friend gave me a link and said that he could see his exam center when he entered his application number. I frantically opened the link and put in my application number only to be shown the message about the missing photo. I wondered why I hadn't seen this earlier. And then I realised, that the initial link had been for IIM - Bangalore, while the one which I had just received was for IIM - Ahmedabad. Told you. I am useless.

Did I do anything? - Yeah. I tried. I called up the admissions officer and tried to explain to him. He scolded me. Yeah he did. Just the way my teachers would scold me in school, and told me that he couldn't care less, and would not do anything at all. One of my friends advised me to try things from the inside, and I contacted my friend, who being absolutely brilliant, is a student in IIM-A. She tried to reason with the man too, but it all failed.

Other suggestions? - Some folks thought that I could take this to the media. Maybe they were correct. They cited the example of the guy who got into IIT but didn't get the news because of some postal error. Maybe I could have blown it out of proportion. But as my friend said "Then you will never get through CAT". :). Also if I am prepared like crazy would I want to take a step like this. In this case, I am going by what a lot of us say when something wrong happens that we cant explain. "Jo hota hai, ache ke liye hi hota hai".

Whats the point? - I cant attempt CAT.

Did I learn anything from the full experience? - Yeah. I am useless. :(