My Dream Goal!!!!!

I played football this past Sunday at Juhu beach yet again. I was tired from partying on Friday night and watching two movies, my legs hurt, but that footballer in me gets up when it is time. Without fail.

So there we were, 6 of us at Juhu beach, and we found a similar number of players to start a game with. We conceded two goals early. Miserable defending. And the first one started with me losing the ball to a young fellow in the opposite team. I was determined to make amends. So I aggresively attacked. And I was doing well, their left-back was having a torrid time with me. I was getting past him with ease. Anyway, I ended up scoring 4 goals, and that was the total that we scored and the match ended in a 4-4 draw. But this post isn't about the game. It is about that one goal that i scored. One unlike any that I have ever scored. And one that I replay in my mind over and over again, and smile every single time.

We were defending. They had a corner and most of my team was back. I was standing at the virtual half-way line as all good strikers do, waiting for a loose ball. The corner was taken, it fell to one of team-mates feet. He looked up and saw me, and hit the ball towards me. As the rolling ball came towards me, I turned without touching it and let it run, and I ran behind it. Since most of their team had gone up for their corner, there were only two defenders and the goalie behind.

I saw one of those defenders running up towards me. I heard his team-mates screaming from behind, ordering him to stop the ball, or me. As we drew close, the ball between us, I dont know where I got the inspiration from. I have absolutely no idea. It just came as a flash. With just a few feet left between him and I, I touched the ball with the outside of my right foot (my first touch) and the ball glided untouched through his legs. And I was past him from his right side in a flash. One obstacle done with.

As I continued on past the defender, I saw the goalie running up now. And as he got close, I again hit the ball with the outside of my right foot and it went past his left, along the beach sand into the bottom left corner of the goal. And it went in.

I was in love with myself in that instant. Since I was still running, I continued past the goal, turned back towards the playing area and took my jersey off, and did the entire 'swinging-the-jersey-above-my-head' run.

That was the goal that made it 3-3. There was this little argument from the defender who had the ball go thru his legs about how it wasnt a goal, but his own team mates shut him up before I needed to. And I felt good.

We planning to play tomorrow as well and the footballer in me so wants to. But my body is pretty stiff, and my toes hurt too. Oh, did I mention that we were playing barefeet?

Such should be a week end...always.

I have had a few frustrating weeks now. Work has been really slow. Not many auditions happening, so of course not much work. And to top it all, with those '3-day' week ends...most of my corporate buddies were planning something or the other and I was getting to hear about it. I have postponed any plan of a vacation indefinitely. I intend to get some good work, and only then go out. Though, with all the frustration, I needed a break. So I decided to ride down to either Pune or Daman to refresh my mind a bit.

I hoped Ankit would ride down with me, but a little rain on Friday and his own tiredness and laziness, he used as reasons to avoid the Saturday biking saga, and left me going to sleep a very frustrated man. However, I was frustrated enough to do the ride alone. That's the thought that accompanied me to sleep.

Saturday - 5 am.
I woke up. I went to my window and looked outside. I was searching for one star. One star alone, that would show me that it wouldn't be a rainy day, and one star that would prove to Ankit that he was an a**hole. I didn't find it. The entire sky was cloudy. It just added to my frustration, and my fear. I called my trip off. I slept.

Saturday - 8:30 am.
I woke up. I wandered into the hall, where my father was watching the news. He says, 'Check this out. The Goa Highway is shut because of floods. There is a bus stuck somewhere and they are trying to evacuate people from there.'
Great. Exactly the kind of news that my parents would love to hear, knowing their son was out on his bike riding 150 km. At this point, I kinda realised that Ankit's so called 'premonition' about rains was right. But I wasn't going to let him know. Not just yet.

I left my house at 11am, determined to make the most out of my day. I knew if I stayed home, I would do nothing except browse the Internet and play football (video game). I made a trip to Shoppers Stop, to return broken Allen Solly sunglasses. I expect them replaced. Then I went to Versova to get a cheque for something I had done 2 months back. Then I went to 4 bungalows for an audition, which was to start at 2, but eventually did so only at 245 because the lady conducting it was late.
From there i headed to my friends place in Amboli. The same friend, outside whose house, I had left my beloved Reebok DMX one night...only to discover them stolen an hour later. This time, I took off my shoes inside. She made lunch, which was very nice, and I spent my afternoon and early evening there. After that it was a bike ride to Powai, another short trip to Saki Naka to get Chicken Tandoori, and then I was home. Asleep at 11 after dinner. I had a reason.

Sunday - 6 am.
I woke up. It was drizzling outside. I got ready, called my friend, met him got into his car and was on my way. TO PLAY FOOTBALL! We were to play at Vile Parle, but only 7 people turned up. So we went to Juhu beach. As I walked from the parking area towards the beach, I was greeted by...heaven.

The clouds had descended onto the sea, the wind was powerful and chilly, the rain drops were cold and huge and hit hard against my van Nistelrooy jersey, the waves sounded beautiful, yet meek because of the wind. This was already heaven, and it just got better. I had a football at my feet. I fell in love with the beach, a beach in Mumbai, where I had thought beaches sucked, and I know of a few others who still think the same. But I am in love with the beach. And I intend to go there as many early Sundays as I can.

We found a group of guys who let us join in and we played. I scored two goals, always helps. At the end of the game, I had sand on my jersey and shorts, so I went into the cold sea water and got it off. It was still raining. We left, it began to rain harder. We stopped for the quintessential chai and wada-pav. Instead of heading over to my place after, I went to Ankits. I was sure if I went home, I would just laze around. The rains we rent subsiding at all. Plus, I had to get the whole 'pissed-off' issue done and dusted with. So there I went. Confessed that he had been right about the rains, and it was just more frustrating when the plan did not work out. Freshened up and went to a couple of auditions. Then back to his place, within no time heading to catch a movie (not that good)...then back to his place...chai and aloo pakodas...then watched football, Arsenal Vs Blackburn, and Liverpool Vs Chelsea...good football. Then chicken curry and rice as dinner. And the entire day it rained. uffffff....just too much awesomeness in one day.

Reached home at 1030 pm Sunday. And was too tired, and too happy and a little wet on the bum because the ric didnt have those covers on the side.. What I couldn't get in Daman or Pune, I got right here. A lovely weekend. I am refreshed!

Could I run over you, please?

Ever heard of that line - 'Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them?'

I think that holds so true for this particular kind of people in Mumbai....pedestrians. I came across the manual which guides people to being a perfect pedestrian in Mumbai. I will list the highlights. It is in pedestrian first person language.

1) Footpaths aren't meant for walking.
I take an oath to avoid footpaths whenever possible. I will complain that too many footpaths in Mumbai have been encroached upon, so I am not used to walking on them...even empty ones. I will walk on the road next to the footpath, and if a motorist honks me, I will show him attitude..pedestrian attitude, and WILL NOT move. I will complain about the carts/open manholes etc on the footpath and will avoid them, taking the much simpler route of playing with fast moving vehicles. I will not understand that it is ridiculous to complain about vehicles honking me instead of complaining and protesting encroachment.

I will say that the footpaths are dirty if someone insists, knowing of course that the roads are cleaned everyday with Lizol. A stationary tree in the middle of the footpath is more of a threat to me, than moving vehicles.

2) I am God.
Where I tread, is holy ground, so I have a right to go everywhere. You cant question me, be it a motorist or another pedestrian. I was made for walking like a mad man. And I will.

3) I can cross whenever I want. (related to point 2)
It doesnt matter what speed a vehicle is approaching at, I dont even calculate. If I move to cross the road, the world HAS TO STOP. Vehicles HAVE to obey signals, but my signals hold no meaning for me. So what if it is green for the cars, if I want to cross I WILL. If you so much as touch me, you are dead. If you honk at me while I cross the road, I will stop in the middle of the road and show you attitude...pedestrian attitude.
I dont necessarily have to cross in a jiffy. I can take my own sweet time, calculating the value of Pi to the 3ooth decimal. Also, I dont have to cross in a straight line, I can make whatever shape with my footprints on the road. Sometimes I can have fun while doing it, like making a large middle finger on the road with my footprints. I can do so, and you cant tell me anything.
If I am having an argument on the phone or with another pedestrian, I can do so in the middle of the road. You vehicles will just have to wait. I can change my mind without questions from you about where I want to go. So if I rush onto the road suddenly...and then step back casually...tough luck.
I was ver fond of the video game when i was young, that one where the frog has to cross the road full of cars...and I do exactly that on the roads to reminisce how my younger days were spent.

4) Any number of people can walk side by side...on the road.
If I am a group of 3 people, we all will walk shoulder to shoulder. If we are a group of 5, we will still walk shoulder to shoulder. This is because whatever we talk about is of the utmost importance and cannot be said over the shoulder. Plus it is demeaning to walk behind someone when you know them. We can occupy 1/3rd of the road when we walk like this, and if you honk at us, we will show you attitude...pedestrian attitude.

Those are a few of the points that I got. I am trying to learn them right now..Hope I can perfect the art of being a Mumbai pedestrian soon.

If your vehicle tyre bursts on the Expressway, keep driving.

Yeah, weird title. But if you reading this, it got your attention, didn't it? This is about a trip that I made to Pune recently via (you guessed it) the Mumbai-Pune Expressway.

It had been some time that Viraat had shifted to Pune and his friends hadn't gone to see him. So, one weekend three of them - Harpreet, Amrit and Simi decided to pay him a visit. Since it was the monsoon season, Harpreet (the conservative one) decided against travelling by bikes. He showed bravery enough to ask his father for the family car. A car that was 9 years old now, but had yet never made a single trip out of Mumbai. Surprisingly Harpreet's father agreed without the slightest hassle. So it was decided, the three of them would drive down to Pune. However, Harpreet's dad insisted that they get the tyres checked, and in fact also suggested that they buy a new stepney.

They stopped at the first petrol pump they saw, and Harpreet got the typre pressure checked. As the attendant proceeded to fill the air in the spare typre, the (old) spare burst with a loud bang. Simi was startled out of her wits coz she was in the back seat. So they decided they would buy a new tyre at the next shop they found.

Driving in the beautiful rains and on the beautiful roads, they probably missed a few tyre shops and hit the expressway soon. The usually conservative Harpreet said they would risk it. So they drove on. Most of the drive went well, but 20 kms away from Pune, after crossing the Pimpri Chinchwad exit, the rear tyre burst. The car jerked a bit and thudded but since Harpreet had maintained a constant speed of 80 kmph, he was able to control the car and slowly glide it to the left side of the road, and stop. Simi was startled again, and would you believe it, it was the tyre directly under her. (Yeah..I think so too, but she aint that heavy)

The three got out and inspected the damage. The tyre was gone, all the lining and the metal blown apart. The bumper was damaged a little too but apart from that not too bad for a tyre burst. So there they were, with a burst tyre and a burst stepney.

Harpreet had memorised it every single time a board showed it, so he knew the number to call in case of 'emergency'. He gave Amrit the number. Amrit called.

Amrit - 'Hello, my tyre burst on the Mumbai - Pune expressway.'
Emergency Help - 'For tyre burst call another number. Bye' (gave number)

Amrit called the 'other number'.

Amrit - 'Hello, my tyre burst on the Mumbai - Pune expressway.'
Tyre burst number - 'Where?'
Amrit - 'On the Mumbai - Pune Expresssway.'
Tyre burst number - 'No I mean where on it?'
Amrit to Harpreet - 'Where are we?'
Harpreet - 'Tell them we crossed the Pimpri exit and are a km or so on from there.'
Amrit conveys the message. And hangs up.
Amrit - 'They are coming.'

With the weather so beautiful, they didnt realise when 45 minutes passed by. Actually they did. They all had wrist watches. Amrit called again.

Amrit - 'Sir my tyre burst on the Mum...'
Tyre burst number - 'Yeah yeah. Our guy went out looking for you and didn't find you.'
Amrit - 'Really? We are the only guys here with a broken down car.'
Tyre burst number - 'Is there a bridge around you?'
Amrit - 'Ya, its a km away.'
Tyre burst number - 'Whats written on it?'
Amrit - 'It is a km away, didnt you hear? And I dont have binoculars.'
Tyre burst number (missing humor) - 'Go and check the name on it.'
Amrit - 'What?'
Dead phone line.

So Amrit tells the rest that he needs to go check the name on the bridge. They say Ok. So he leaves while Harpreet and Simi indulge in some intellectual conversation, now that Amrit is gone. 15 minutes later, Simi and Harpreet see help coming their way. On a motorcycle. And Amrit is riding pillion on it. The bike reaches the car.

Biker help guy - 'What happened?'
Harpreet - 'Um, the tyre burst.'
Biker help guy (being helpful) - 'Change it to the stepney.'
Harpreet - 'Stepney burst too. Besides if we had one, why would we call you?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'So you got a motor cycle. How does that help us?'
Biker help guy (ignoring) - 'Took me so much time to find you. Its almost the end of my shift, yet I came.'
Harpreet - 'It is almost the end right? Hasn't ended ya?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'So, how do you help us.'
Biker help guy - 'I will give you a number. You can call them.'
Harpreet (losing a little cool) - 'What? You came all the way here to give us a number?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - 'I have been here for an hour. And you come here on a motor cycle and say that you are gonna give me a number? Why didnt you just give it to me on the phone when I called you?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - 'Really? You still wondering why?'
Simi (taking charge) - 'Ok give us the number.'

Biker help guy gives number. Amrit volunteers to call because he can see the Harpreet is not calm. Biker guy offers to call. From Amrit's phone. He calls, talks for a bit and comes back.

Biker help guy - 'Yeah. He says he won't come.'
Harpreet - 'What?? An hour we wait, then we get a number...'
Simi (interrupts) - 'Now what?'
Biker help guy - You can leave your car here and go to the nearest tyre guy with your stepney get it fixed and come back.'
Simi - 'And you will take one of us there.'
Biker help guy - 'No. That's not my job. Plus my shift is almost over.'
Harpreet - 'Then what is your job?'
Biker help guy - 'I am providing you security.'
Harpreet - 'Security? From what?'
Biker help guy - 'This is a very unsafe stretch of road.'
Harpreet - 'Really? And in that one hour that you weren't here, what happened to security?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet moves away.

Simi - 'Now what?'
Biker help guy - 'You can leave your car here and all three of you can hitch a ride with another vehicle and get your stepney fixed.'
Harpreet (back) - 'But you said this road was unsafe. How can I leave my car here. What if I come back and there are no tryes at all?'
Biker help guy - 'Hey, I am helping you. You are getting angry.'
Harpreet - "Hey your shift is almost over right?'
Biker help guy - 'Yeah and I still came.'
Harpreet - 'Thanks man. I think you can leave now. You have been a great help.'
Biker help guy (relieved) - 'Thanks. Bye. Take care.'
Harpreet - 'And suddenly we don't need security.'

Meanwhile Simi and Amrit have called Just Dial etc and have got a few numbers of towing vehicles. They get through quite a few and eventually find one who is willing to come to pick them up. They tell the pick-up the location. In two minutes they see a towing vehicle arrive. They are impressed with the efficiency.

Towing guy - 'What happened?'
Amrit - 'Tyre busrt.'
Towing guy - 'Change it to the stepney.'
Amrit (understand Harpreets state) - 'Stepney burst too. Besides if we had one, why would we call you?'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. So what do you wanna do?'
Harpreet - 'Will you tow us to the nearest tyre shop?'
Towing guy - 'Sure, but I will charge Rs. 600/-.'
Harpreet- 'Thats cool man. Lets do it.'
Towing guy - 'OK, let me attach the chain.'
Harpreet - 'Whoa! Arent you gonna lift it?'
Towing guy - 'Lift it? What do you mean by that?'
Harpreet - 'Lift it, you know. From the rear end so that no weight comes on the tyre?'
Towing guy - 'Really? No we don't lift it.'
Harpreet - 'But then the car still moves on the tyre. My engine is fine, I need the weight to go off the tyre.'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. We dont lift it.'
Harpreet - 'Damn!'
Towing guy - 'Tell you what I can do. I can take you guys to the nearest tyre shop in my car. We can get your stepney fixed and I can drive you back.'

This leaves the three friends pretty impressed.

Harpreet - "How much are you gonna charge for that?'
Towing guy - 'Rs 600/-.'
Simi - 'No, not for the towing. For taking us to the tyre shop.'
Towing guy - 'Yeah. Rs. 600/-.'
Harpreet - 'You serious? Thats like a return fare from Mumbai to Pune man. Maybe even more.' Towing guy - 'Can't help it.'
Harpreet - 'How far is this tyre place anyway?'
Towing guy - 'Just a km away.'
Harpreet - 'And you gonna charge me 600 bucks to take me a km away and back?'
Towing guy - 'Yeah.'
Harpreet - 'Thanks, but I would rather drive.'

The friends told the towing guy to leave. He obliged. Seeing the damaged tyre, Harpreet thought it would be a better idea to change it to the stepney, which was also burst, but comparitively was less damaged. So they replaced the tyre. What followed is a conversation between evidently experienced car drivers -

Harpreet - 'What do we do with the burst tyre? It is ripped pretty bad.'
Amrit (pointing to the wilderness) - 'Would you be cool throwing it here?'
Simi - 'You think someone cleans this place? I don't think we should dirty the environment.'
Harpreet - 'I completely agree with Simi, dude, how can you be so pathetic?'
Amrit - 'I know man, was just messing with you.'
Harpreet - 'So we all think we should take this tyre and dispose it in a proper manner.'
Simi and Amrit - 'Yes.'

With that reason in mind, Harpreet picked the tyre up and loaded it into the boot. Then at a speed of 10kmph started driving on. The towing guy was right. A km away they saw an exit and next to the exit was a petrol pump, and would you believe it, a tyre shop. Harpreet ran towards the tyre shop and asked the gentle man for the tyre with the exact specifications. (He had got it from the puncture guy next to the shop). So the salesman gets out a tyre with a nice foil around it. As he unwraps it, Harpreet realises the salesman is upto some mischief.

Harpreet - 'Hold on Mister. Are you trying to cheat me?'
Salesman - 'Huh? What?'
Harpreet (thinking he has cornered him, and expecting a discount now) - 'Where is that silvery thing in the middle of the tyre, eh?'
Salesman - 'Huh? What?'
Harpreet - 'You know what I am talking about. That silvery thing that the tyre is wound on man. You are selling me an incomplete tyre.'
Saleman - 'Do you mean the 'rim'?'
Harpreet - 'Damn right I mean the rim!'
Salesman - 'Do you want to buy a rim also?'
Harpreet (slightly stumped) - 'What do you mean...also?'
Salesman - 'Dont you have a rim? Your tyre burst right? You didnt lose the rim too?'
Harpreet - 'Yeah. Of course, I have the rim. That's precisely why I loaded the burst tyre in the boot in the first place. You think I am an inept driver? Just make the bill for the tyre...without the rim.'

So that was the experience of the three friends on the expressway. The story is true. Even the dialgogues are true. Only translated from Hindi. They were funnier in Hindi I must say. So, if your tyre bursts on the expressway, think twice before calling the 'help' guys!!
P.S. It took us, I mean, them 8 hours total from Andheri in Mumbai to Herms heritage in Pune.

Writer's Block

I am desperate to write. There is thing inside me that nudges me to go and use my talent, and write. And there is thing outside me, that also kinda nudges me to write, the latter is my good friend. And I m sitting here, with the keypad at my fingertips, and damn..I can't form any sort of anecdote to pen. Damn!

There is a lot happening in my life that I can write about. In fact, at this point of time, my life has probably the most happening in it.I just quit my (safe) job 4 months back and have jumped into the (unsafe) profession of acting. I have done OK. They say this field is harder for guys...the insiders. The outside world knows only of how hard it is for the girls, but scratch the surface and look inside, it is an entirely different story. But I don't want to write about that. I have done OK. I did 3 commercials, I did one Corporate AV (like an internal training video), I wrote one screenplay for a movie (have been requested to write another one), I sang four songs for radio (got paid for one). Actually I have done great. And I am gonna get my much needed financial gains soon enough. So yeah, at this point of time, there is a lot happening in my life. I even rode down on my Royal Enfield (God I love her) to Kamshet with friends, spent an amazing week end at a gorgeous farmhouse. And I can't write. Damn!

I have tears in my eyes right now. Imagine. All those things in the previous paragraph. You would think I would be grinning from ear to ear. But I have tears in my eyes right now. Ok. Now they have stopped. Thats how I cry. Little Little. I know why I can't write. And I cant do a damn thing about it. I can only write when my mind is not filled with only one thing, when I can concentrate on what I want to do and what I am doing. No, I cant do that right now. Just one thing in my head ALL THE TIME, ALL THE (damn i want to abuse) TIME! Just this one thing...just this one....

Incomplete. Thats how I feel. I cant write. How will I complete anything? I am just rambling on in this post, I have no idea what I am blurting out. I have no writer sense (no beginning, no flow, no definition, no end in mind.) This will end when there are no more lines. I don't even know if anybody will read this. But I need to write. I just need to write. For myself, and for you Dharmendra (my good friend). At the moment, thats the only two reasons for this post. I think they are good enough.

I read on wikipedia that Johnny Rzeznik broke YEARS of writers block when he wrote Iris (arguably the most awesome song in the world) for the movie City of Angels. I dont know if I would settle for that trade. I dont want years of writers block, but yeah I would love to be known as the guy who wrote a song like Iris. I met Javed Akhtar yesterday at Prithvi. Oh, I didnt mention that I am part of a play right. Yeah that too...m in a play and have performed at Prithvi theater (the mecca of Indian theater). Before yesterdays performance I saw Javed Akhtar. I went and introduced myself to him. This is whats I said "I want to say Hello to you, just so that I can boast to my friends about it later." He smiled...he looks so good man. Why am I talking about him? Writers block dammit.

So I have written. Not something that I would be most proud of. Hell, we all do things that we arent too proud about right? But I have written. And I will soon again. Talking like an idiot hero na?