Writer's Block
I am desperate to write. There is thing inside me that nudges me to go and use my talent, and write. And there is thing outside me, that also kinda nudges me to write, the latter is my good friend. And I m sitting here, with the keypad at my fingertips, and damn..I can't form any sort of anecdote to pen. Damn!
There is a lot happening in my life that I can write about. In fact, at this point of time, my life has probably the most happening in it.I just quit my (safe) job 4 months back and have jumped into the (unsafe) profession of acting. I have done OK. They say this field is harder for guys...the insiders. The outside world knows only of how hard it is for the girls, but scratch the surface and look inside, it is an entirely different story. But I don't want to write about that. I have done OK. I did 3 commercials, I did one Corporate AV (like an internal training video), I wrote one screenplay for a movie (have been requested to write another one), I sang four songs for radio (got paid for one). Actually I have done great. And I am gonna get my much needed financial gains soon enough. So yeah, at this point of time, there is a lot happening in my life. I even rode down on my Royal Enfield (God I love her) to Kamshet with friends, spent an amazing week end at a gorgeous farmhouse. And I can't write. Damn!
I have tears in my eyes right now. Imagine. All those things in the previous paragraph. You would think I would be grinning from ear to ear. But I have tears in my eyes right now. Ok. Now they have stopped. Thats how I cry. Little Little. I know why I can't write. And I cant do a damn thing about it. I can only write when my mind is not filled with only one thing, when I can concentrate on what I want to do and what I am doing. No, I cant do that right now. Just one thing in my head ALL THE TIME, ALL THE (damn i want to abuse) TIME! Just this one thing...just this one....
Incomplete. Thats how I feel. I cant write. How will I complete anything? I am just rambling on in this post, I have no idea what I am blurting out. I have no writer sense (no beginning, no flow, no definition, no end in mind.) This will end when there are no more lines. I don't even know if anybody will read this. But I need to write. I just need to write. For myself, and for you Dharmendra (my good friend). At the moment, thats the only two reasons for this post. I think they are good enough.
I read on wikipedia that Johnny Rzeznik broke YEARS of writers block when he wrote Iris (arguably the most awesome song in the world) for the movie City of Angels. I dont know if I would settle for that trade. I dont want years of writers block, but yeah I would love to be known as the guy who wrote a song like Iris. I met Javed Akhtar yesterday at Prithvi. Oh, I didnt mention that I am part of a play right. Yeah that too...m in a play and have performed at Prithvi theater (the mecca of Indian theater). Before yesterdays performance I saw Javed Akhtar. I went and introduced myself to him. This is whats I said "I want to say Hello to you, just so that I can boast to my friends about it later." He smiled...he looks so good man. Why am I talking about him? Writers block dammit.
So I have written. Not something that I would be most proud of. Hell, we all do things that we arent too proud about right? But I have written. And I will soon again. Talking like an idiot hero na?
