So I went to the dentist.

So I went to the dentist the other day. I have a really long history with dentists. Yeah, I am not one of those fortunate people…who brush twice a day. Believe me, I have tried. I can never get myself to do it over a continuous period of time. One day, two days. That’s it, then I am back to sleeping at night without brushing. And all those commericals tell you about the germ build up after you eat right, and I am sure the maximum happens when I sleep unbrushed at night, but damn, I just cant be regular with it.
I wonder if dentists manage to do it, you know. Practice what they preach. So anyways, I went to the dentist the other day. Now how many of you guys have a dentist you regularly visit? You lucky fuckers, all of you who didn’t raise their hands. Trust me, I really envy people who don’t have to go the dentists regularly, and trust me, I am lying when I say..I don’t hate you. Now, if you have a dentist you visit regularly, I am almost ready to bet my daily earnings on the fact that he or she isn’t from this part of India. They are either from down South or probably Bengal or some place, but not Maharashtra. And I think I have figured out why. They wont be talking around you in Hindi or Marathi, so that you don’t know what they are saying! My dentist is from Mallu-land. Now he looks into my mouth…gives a very bland expression and then turns to he co-doctor and starts to ramble on in Mallu. And I don’t understand a fucking word! So I am sitting there wide eyed, trying to figure out what ghost he saw in my mouth and what he is trying to convey. And I don’t understand fucking word. Where are all the Marathi and hindi speaking dentists man? I will tell you. They are down South in fucking Hyderabad turning around after seeing a poor old guys teeth to their Hindi/Marathi speaking co-dentist saying ‘Iski toh lagi padi hai’.
It is scary man. I wonder what they are saying to each other while my teeth are staring at Sputnik. The last time, they were to fit some new cap on my implant. Now wait a second. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Not that kinda implant. Look at me, for god’s sake. They have tooth implants these days, and yes, I am bold enough to admit, that I have one. Anyways, so one of them gets this new cap, tries to fit it into my mouth, takes it out and has this grim expression on his face. He walks over to the other guy and they have a conversation! Now I don’t get a fucking word, so I can only guess what they are talking about. For one, I think it is about me. Two, I think it is about the cap in their hand.
I think the conversation goes something like this. This is only my interpretation.
‘Hey, you remember this cap we got made for him.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘It is small man. I mean if we fit it, it leaves a huge ass gap.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘So what do you think we should do?’
‘Umm.’
‘Should we tell him? I think not’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘Lets just fuck it and put it in his mouth. He has to come back to us anyway eh?’
‘Uh-huh’.

Yeah man, for all you know that’s what they are talking about. Where are all the Hindi speaking dentists man? Hyderabad.