Tuesday, August 16, 2011

That lady in White

Are you scared of Ghosts? I mean I think everyone is, its like a redundant question, but I still ask it. Are you scared of Ghosts? We have all heard different stories of Ghosts right, and we have interpretations of how our ghost will look based on those stories. Or movies for that matter. Thats what influences what we think Ghosts will look like. Coz, face it, none of us has really seen one right? Right? Um hello...please...right?

Been some good movies that tell you about Ghosts. Evil dead..Ha ha. Paapi gudiya! Remember Ramsay Brothers. The dudes man. Seriously, they were the only people to successfully experiment with horror at one point of time. And luckily they made the movies when I hit puberty. So yeah, scary or not, they did work for me at some level. You know what I am talking about.

But anyway, my story isnt scary. I was talking about Ghosts to my friend. I was telling him I have this peculiar little thought in my mind. Comes to me specifically when I have to sleep alone at night. Ok, not THAT thought. This is the scary one. So I have this thought when I am home alone at night, that if I look out of the window, I will see a woman in white, with her hair moving with the wind, looking back at me. Not a disfigured face or anything, but just a woman looking back at me. And I stay on the 5th floor, so for a woman to be looking back at me from my window is a scary thing. One sec, Even if I stayed on the ground floor, it would be scary. So I tell my friend this, that I have this vision. And that everytime I am alone at home at night, I actually force myself to look out of the window to see if she is there or not. And well, till date I havent seen her. I am alive am I not? If I see her, well I dont want to think about that.

But anyway, the point is I tell my friend this, with a lot of good storytelling techniques. And he says 'Shes been looking in from all the wrong windows for you then, thats why you havent seen her. Shes going around all over Mumbai saying 'Shit, I havent found him yet'. And he laughs like crazy.

ANyways, I still have that vision. damn!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

So I went to the dentist.

So I went to the dentist the other day. I have a really long history with dentists. Yeah, I am not one of those fortunate people…who brush twice a day. Believe me, I have tried. I can never get myself to do it over a continuous period of time. One day, two days. That’s it, then I am back to sleeping at night without brushing. And all those commericals tell you about the germ build up after you eat right, and I am sure the maximum happens when I sleep unbrushed at night, but damn, I just cant be regular with it.
I wonder if dentists manage to do it, you know. Practice what they preach. So anyways, I went to the dentist the other day. Now how many of you guys have a dentist you regularly visit? You lucky fuckers, all of you who didn’t raise their hands. Trust me, I really envy people who don’t have to go the dentists regularly, and trust me, I am lying when I say..I don’t hate you. Now, if you have a dentist you visit regularly, I am almost ready to bet my daily earnings on the fact that he or she isn’t from this part of India. They are either from down South or probably Bengal or some place, but not Maharashtra. And I think I have figured out why. They wont be talking around you in Hindi or Marathi, so that you don’t know what they are saying! My dentist is from Mallu-land. Now he looks into my mouth…gives a very bland expression and then turns to he co-doctor and starts to ramble on in Mallu. And I don’t understand a fucking word! So I am sitting there wide eyed, trying to figure out what ghost he saw in my mouth and what he is trying to convey. And I don’t understand fucking word. Where are all the Marathi and hindi speaking dentists man? I will tell you. They are down South in fucking Hyderabad turning around after seeing a poor old guys teeth to their Hindi/Marathi speaking co-dentist saying ‘Iski toh lagi padi hai’.
It is scary man. I wonder what they are saying to each other while my teeth are staring at Sputnik. The last time, they were to fit some new cap on my implant. Now wait a second. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Not that kinda implant. Look at me, for god’s sake. They have tooth implants these days, and yes, I am bold enough to admit, that I have one. Anyways, so one of them gets this new cap, tries to fit it into my mouth, takes it out and has this grim expression on his face. He walks over to the other guy and they have a conversation! Now I don’t get a fucking word, so I can only guess what they are talking about. For one, I think it is about me. Two, I think it is about the cap in their hand.
I think the conversation goes something like this. This is only my interpretation.
‘Hey, you remember this cap we got made for him.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘It is small man. I mean if we fit it, it leaves a huge ass gap.’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘So what do you think we should do?’
‘Umm.’
‘Should we tell him? I think not’
‘Uh-huh’.
‘Lets just fuck it and put it in his mouth. He has to come back to us anyway eh?’
‘Uh-huh’.

Yeah man, for all you know that’s what they are talking about. Where are all the Hindi speaking dentists man? Hyderabad.